July 5 2012: Post 541 (2012 Day 187) - Fast Day

July 5, 2012

Daily Comment

Yesterday's celebration of the 4th of July made me think about patriotism.

When I was young, I was very stirred by patriotic feelings. I thought this country was the best of all possible countries, the most righteous, the most benevolent, the most progressive. This was the country that had won two World Wars, the country of invention, of progress. I thought Horatio Alger was a journalist and Norman Rockwell was a candid photographer.

In second grade I wrote and illustrated an anti-communist poem, and in fourth grade I wrote a patriotic song about Pearl Harbor (trust me, at the time, I didn't know a damn thing about either subject).

That feeling lasted until, one day during swim class at Bayside HS, the coach announced class was dismissed early - he'd just heard President Kennedy had been shot.

That changed everything for me. I couldn't wrap my head around this event. I didn't know (I was a few months short of my 14th birthday) how to think about it, and I couldn't sort out the emotions itbrought out. I was naive, and I was confused. Fifty years later, it still doesn't make sense to me (or anyone else, as far as I know). 

But it changed the way I thought about this country - just by opening the door to the idea that it wasn't perfect, it wasn't the best place on earth. In my America, assassinating a president was historical, which took it out of my real-world context.

From that moment on, still politically naive, I was open to criticism of America's policies, later to be critical myself - as a protester against the war in Viet Nam, and one who, during his presidency, told my almost-to-a-one right-wing co-workers that Ronald Reagan was a bad president, doing bad things for the country (and that he was a bad governor before that). That didn't go over well, but I felt righteous representing an unpopular opinion. 

These days, I think that my lifetime has seen the collapse of the American dream. In terms of domestic and foreign policy and practice, things are getting worse every day. I dislike both political parties, although I only see Republicans as thoroughly evil.

I see myself as both fortunate and unfortunate at the same time - fortunate to have been born white and in a cultural center with mixed cultural influences, without abject deprivation in my youth, and at a time when critical thinking was still taught in schools. I feel unfortunate in that America's social structure and economics have been devalued and made increasingly weak my whole life, and I am on the wrong side, the 'under' side, the losing side, economically, politically (progressive) and culturally. (I never think of myself as a victim, though).

Currently, the Occupy Wall Street and anti-fracking movements embody my idea of patriotism: The desire to improve the country, to make political changes that embody the founding ideals, seem to me to be the epitome of patriotism. That being said, I have no fire in my belly for protest. I find it difficult to do anything more than donate a little money, and a little (very little) time, locally, when the opportunities (few) arise.

No, I'm voting with my feet. Now that I'm nearing retirement, I plan on leaving the country, and starting a new, apolitical life somewhere else. Is this unpatriotic? I don't think so. I see it as a political statement, though: My answer to the old right-wing liberal-baiting maxim.

In truth, I've fallen out of love with the US, so, if love it or leave it are my only options...

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        200.0 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    200.2   lbs  
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 0.2 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011.

Diet Comment:

This slight decrease in weight is just noise.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner

Cole slaw and chili (ground beef, tomatoes, peas, mushrooms, black beans and spices). Not shown: Chia gel..

Liquid Intake

    Coffee:   22 oz,   Water: 128+ oz

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