June 25, 2012: Post 531 (2012 Day 177)

June 25, 2012

Daily Comment

There is a tendency to look back on the time when I had no responsibilities as something akin to my 'glory days'. I think I should resist that. 

Two reasons I say this. First, my memory is inaccurate. I know this. My memory is both selective and prone to fiction, confusing things I wanted to happen with things that actually did; changing names, locations, sequences of things that I did, with no editing marks to help me separate fact and fiction. The second reason is that my internal, emotional rankings of old events makes things look good now that weren't good then, and vice-versa. My glory days may not be those I remember best, and may not be as glorious as other days I've forgotten or devalued, for whatever reason.

The best example I can give was during a 3-year period that began around 1970, when I was a traveling salesman. Initially, I sold imported Mexican goods for a company that turned out to be a front for a pot dealership; then as a rep for Mexican jewelery (this was a legitimate company). Both of these were exciting jobs - I drove all across the Northeast meeting new people, going to new places. The money was pretty good, I was a decent salesman.

I look at this period with a lot of fondness. These jobs enabled me to go places and do things I hadn't previously done, and that hadn't occurred to me to do. It put me together with people I would never have otherwise met. I can think of a lot of highlights. But it ended with my being very, very unhappy, and I quit - rather abruptly. 

But, here's the thing: It is easy for me to remember why I quit; but I can't recall how I was feeling at the time. When I think back on it, I remember the excitement, the highlights, the fun and not the elements that combined to depress me and, ultimately, lead to me fleeing from that scene; it led me back to music.

Which I remember also as being a fabulous time. But, once I start considering that time, I remember a lot of not-so-fabulous things about this period, too. And so on. I can pick apart the memories of my past - my glory days - pretty easily. Nothing is exactly as I remember it, and, as these days tend to have occurred a half-lifetime ago, I know that they get more and more distorted, mythologized, and - might as well come right out and say it - bogus, as time goes by.

I also know this about those days in my past: It isn't them. It is these days that are, as Carly Simon sang, "the good old days."

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        201.8 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    200.2   lbs  
Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 1.6 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011.

Diet Comment:

A bit of a reversal from yesterday's weight loss; almost certainly due to water weight gain.

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia seeds, cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, cod liver oil, stevia-inulin blend).

Lunch

Roast turkey and hard-boiled egg  on Spring Mix greens and red cabbage with balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Dinner

Chili (grass-fed beef, peas, black beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, spices).

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:   22 oz,   Water: 120+ oz

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