June 13, 2012: Post 519 (2012 Day 165)

June 13, 2012

Daily Comment

I have always been very circumspect when it came to monetizing or commercializing things I enjoy.

Maybe it is for this reason that I have failed to become a financially successful musician, photographer, writer or drug dealer.

I am not certain why this is.

It may be due to a deeply-held belief that in general, money ruins everything (by its presence or absence - a lose-lose situation). Maybe it is due to fear that if money is the measure of quality in these things, then doing them for free might not feel as good. Maybe it is rejecting the introduction of competition into my enjoyment of these things.


That last thing, that's a killer. I was very competitive when learning these activities, but I didn't care much for competition in any of my other activities. I have always rejected the idea of every winner creates a loser, because I never wanted to feel like a loser. And when you compete, you lose, at least at some point.

Especially with music. The best music is not created through competition, it is created by cooperation, by an ego-less giving to the group. Musical success? If that is defined as having to come from competing and winning money (high-paying gigs, recording contracts, hit records, all the result of competing for money).


That isn't to say that people who compete in the entertainment arena don't make some good music. Sometimes, maybe the majority of the time, part of winning in the competitive entertainment field is making the best music. But not enough of the time. Sometimes it is about the show, and the band or person who puts on a great show has an advantage over a band that makes great music but has no show. It isn't an insurmountable advantage, but it is definitely an advantage. 

I also don't like to compete with myself. Setting up that schizophrenic duality is not welcome to me. You do the best you can, and that is that.

Needless to say, I'd rather be a spectator at sports. I am definitely team oriented, and want the role of contributor, not the responsibility of management. I don't want to be involved in the business end of things.

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        204.2 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    204.2   lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 0.0 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011.

Diet Comment:

No weight loss. Disappointing. Skipping breakfast today for lunch at the Chinese Buffet/Mongolian grill.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
at Ling-Ling Buffet and Grill:

Salad with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, hard-boiled eggs and blue cheese dressing; kimchee; and from the Mongolian grill: chicken, beef, snow pea pods, bean sprouts, broccoli, mushrooms, peppers and onions in a hot and spicy sauce. 

Dinner

Sweet Italian-style chicken sausage with whole grain Dijon mustard and guacamole, and Spring Mix greens, cole slaw mix and balsamic vinaigrette. Not shown: Coca kale smoothie: Kale, vanilla whey protein (24g protein), almond milk, cocoa powder, vanilla, cinnamon and stevia-inulin blend.

Liquid Intake

    Coffee:   22 oz,   Water:90+ oz

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