June 4, 2012: Post 511 (2012 Day 156)

June 4, 2012

Daily Comment

So. Family matters.

We all have them. Even orphans, without nuclear families, have them. 

Mine? This weekend I am going to see a cousin I haven't seen in 8 years, and hadn't seen in decades before that. Not because I have been avoiding him, because I have nothing but fond memories of him from my childhood, when I used to see him fairly regularly.

No. It's because, like most families, mine is full of mysterious disconnects and intrigues and secrets and people going there separate ways for reasons not told, or, at least in my case, discussed in the presence of children.

The fact is, I don't know a lot about my family, outside the goings on in my own crazy home. Not only out of ignorance (a lot of things were not talked about), but because of repression.

Which is sad, because some of best, or at least the least miserable, times I remember growing up were visits with relatives. 

Then, shit happened, as they say. People moved. People died. People argued. People got old (-er). Old emnities, once forgotten, were revived. 

And I stopped seeing my relatives. My father's parents died, and a link to other members of the extended family was broken. Then, when my mother died in 1970, there were notably few from my father's side of the family paying condolence calls. I lost one cousin to mental illness and suicide. My mother's mother (her father long estranged, and unknown to me) died, and her son, my uncle, behaved very badly - over that, I lost touch with another cousin. Then it was just my father, brother and sister. For decades. The death of my father reunited his sister, her son, my cousin with me and my siblings eight years ago.

Only recently have some of us re-found each other, and it wasn't from efforts on the part of the three Kellerman kids. This weekend, at my late aunt's unveiling, I will be reunited with my cousin for the first time since my father died. We didn't have a chance to catch up, then. We're not going to have much private time this time, either, but I'm hoping we can find a little time together to reestablish those bonds weakened by time and events.

I think family matters. There are people who share just a little more DNA with you than most other humans and primates. But I think people can sense that microscopic difference. Couple that with a natural yearning to  connect with and belong to the tribe, because Humans are, in fact, for good or ill, tribal. 

Whether that is a good or bad thing, is relative, but immaterial. It just is that way; it takes an effort to suppress it. I believe it is largely nurture, not nature that is responsible, but if this desire to connect with kin is present in a person, the reason why doesn't matter. 

I think it does no harm to give it some attention, and I am looking forward to moving on it this weekend, because, to me, any type of connection that brings people closer is worth making an effort. And, weird as I am and have been, and as removed as I've made myself in so many ways over such a long time, I'm still a member of the tribe.

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        204.8 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    206.2   lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 1.4 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011.

Diet Comment:

I successfully fasted for 28 hours leading into today's regular eating day. Today, and all this week, I need to eat 3 balanced (protein and vegetables) meals a day, and drink plenty of water. No snacks.

Today I decided not to do the usual post-cheat fast this week. I will be trying to be moderate down in the City, this weekend, but it looks like a fair amount of my time will be spent in restaurants, some not of my choosing. So I am going to be a little conservative with my cheats on Saturday, which is a travel day, and on Sunday, I will try and keep to 'regular' food - veggies and protein.

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, vanilla whey protein (36g protein), kale, cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend).

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast, hard-boiled eggs, Spring Mix greens, red cabbage and balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner

Cauliflower with tomato-lentil curry and a grass-fed burger with salsa and guacamole.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:   22 oz,   Water:98+ oz

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