August 16, 2012: Post 583 (2012 Day 229) - Fast Day
August 16, 2012
Daily Comment
My first memory of illness when my brother got the chicken pox - a severe case.
I was probably four years old at the time. I remember all the attention he got, and being jealous of that. I also remember being afraid, although I can't put my finger (now) on exactly what it was (then) that scared me.
Since then, health concerns have been part of my life, at times a huge part. My own health, and that of my friends and family. This blog was started as part of a solution to a health problem I was dealing with.
Being concerned about health seems natural. After all, we're all taught that health is our most important possession. But the idea that it is something to worry about, and the belief that I am not completely responsible for the state of my health is inconsistent with my beliefs about the role I have in creating my reality. The ideas I have about these beliefs, and health and medicine, are a very complicated knot of inconsistent thinking.
Like all fears, the fear of future health problems is self-generated. Also, like all fear, it is the product of not being in the moment; thinking about the future. On one level, of course, I know that now is the only time that really 'exists'. Now is the only time we can actually do anything, the only time we have any power to do anything. But .
Knowing that, it makes sense to me that I should live with the expectation of health (when I am not in the moment (normal, day-to-day existence in the material, dualistic world). Anything else, including preventative measures, comes from an illusory fear of future problems, which, again, in my philosophy, invites and, in fact, creates these very same problems.
Basically, I am paying in advance, making preparation for, and setting myself up for future disease. Betting, in fact, on disease instead of health.
Despite knowing this, I am unable to free myself from this internally-generated mandate to be vigilant about my health. I am 'suffering' from holding two conflicting notions in my head: I don't need doctor's vs. what kind of crazy shit is that?
In my life so far, I have used doctors and, in general, been very impressed with the medical profession. When I moved away from the Research Triangle in North Carolina, which has one of the heaviest concentrations of available medical care (major hospitals, medical schools, pharmaceutical manufacturers, number of doctors per capita), and put some time distance between myself and my ex-wife, a Physician's Assistant with strong beliefs and investment in the health system, my attitude has shifted.
I have, in one way or another, been self-medicating, with drugs (legal and illegal) or philosophies/lifestyle choices my entire adult life (so far). I haven't been shy about being my own doctor or therapist (or priest), while, at the same time I've always relied on conventional medical services when I got sick.
The idea of -the belief in - illness seems like a permanent fixture in my life. My conscious mind has its memory of every significant encounter with disease, and all the 'drama' around it. It seems unshakeable, and therefore I have to pay the price of feeding the beast that feeds on me. OK, that was over-the-top. Let's just say that I have accepted the common/consensus idea of health and illness, and now I have to accept the common notions of where to get health services.
Jane Roberts (Seth Speaks), channeling Seth, says, "The inner self keeps the physical body alive even as it formed it. The miraculous constant translation of spirit into flesh is carried on with inexhaustible energy by these inner portions of being, but in all cases the inner self looks to the conscious mind for its assessment of the body's condition and reality, and forms the image in line with the conscious mind's beliefs."
It may be that this time around (life-wise), I have hypnotized myself into accepting that there is an external answer (that would be conventional medical services) when all logic (and belief) says that I have the power to both heal and afflict myself. Sad to think I have mislaid the power to control which of those options I'm controlling at any time.
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Food and Diet Section
Today's Weight: 205.0 lbs
Yesterday's Weight: 204.6 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain: + 0.4 lbs
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| Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011. |
Diet Comment:
Even though the change was negligible (given a 5 pound loss in 4 days), I'm glad today was a 22-hour fast day. I really want to get my weight back down.
Food Log
Breakfast
Skipped.
Lunch
Skipped.
Dinner
Skipped.
Lunch
Skipped.
Snack
Hard-boiled eggs and guacamole.Dinner
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| Roast turkey, Spring Mix, cole slaw mix, balsamic vinaigrette. |
Liquid Intake
Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!
posted by Reverend Ken at
8:52 PM
2 Comments:
When I read the Seth/Jane Roberts quote, the term “conscious mind” stood out, as he/she/they identified it as the determining factor in shaping the state of the body's health. It is my understanding that our mind operates, from the immaterial to the material, from a state of unity informing the state of duality. The unified mind, that is the mind of self (real I), holds the power to maintain the body (which exists and knows (through the ego) only the state of duality) in the balance of evolution/involution, to allow “adjustment” of the bodies health to enable the body to fulfill its natural purpose of converting substances to feed the evolutionary process (the dual becoming one).
In our normal, everyday, walking around state, we interact in the outer, dual world through the interface of ego, which exists and knows only the realm of illusion and thus has no real knowledge to form its beliefs or power to enact real change. We “forget” our conscious mind, believe the seductive illusions of the outer world. It is in this state ,that represents our participation in the involutionary processes, that we experience sickness and death of the body. We live in the world, in a dream, in a state of sleeping consciousness, and only if we wake up, will we possess the conscious mind, that has the power to maintain the life and health of the body. Through expansion of awareness beyond the illusions of our ego reality, we can learn to utilize the power. to heal.
One would be surprised, given the amount of and effect of illness on us in our family, if you were not vigilant and concerned about health issues. I am fully in favor of seeing physicians.
I watched Joseph Campbell being interviewed by Bill Moyers again last night. Oh, I wish I were so erudite and able to integrate so much information. Oh well.
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