July 16, 2012: Post 552 (2012 Day 198)
July 16, 2012
Daily Comment
I have discovered in myself a reluctance to strive. Truth be told, it is hardly a recent discovery. I don't want to make an effort to get something desirable - I just want it, especially if the payoff for work now is limited to some future time. I avoid the short-term struggle and effort of undertaking a new project that requires some effort on my part to pay off. I guess you're supposed to strive to accomplish your goals, but I don't feel like it.
I want the path of least resistance, and I am willing to forgo future benefits (or even risk future pain) to have an easy day today.
Obviously, there is some part of me that works out the equation that determines my motivation to labor at something for future benefit. Often, that equation works out to 'do nothing'. More often than not, in fact.
Yet, apparently,there are things I feel I lack, things I want, because I am forever checking out this or that opportunity. I am one of those people who spends the money to check out ideas - as long as there is a money-back guarantee. And, I am one of those people who requests my money back if the package doesn't inspire me.
The hurdle is high, though, for the kind of inspiration that moves me to make an effort. In the first stages, while I am doing my 'due diligence', the first whiff of adversity and I am out. On the other hand, once I've decided to do something, I tend to dismiss obstacles, and go full out, somewhat recklessly, trying to accomplish the thing through enthusiasm, if nothing else.
What I definitely am not, though, is an effort-for-its-own-sake kind of guy. I don't appreciate effort except in support of a defined goal. Idle hands may be the Devil's workshop, but as long as the Devil is doing the work, I believe that's his problem, not mine.
I want the path of least resistance, and I am willing to forgo future benefits (or even risk future pain) to have an easy day today.
Obviously, there is some part of me that works out the equation that determines my motivation to labor at something for future benefit. Often, that equation works out to 'do nothing'. More often than not, in fact.
Yet, apparently,there are things I feel I lack, things I want, because I am forever checking out this or that opportunity. I am one of those people who spends the money to check out ideas - as long as there is a money-back guarantee. And, I am one of those people who requests my money back if the package doesn't inspire me.
The hurdle is high, though, for the kind of inspiration that moves me to make an effort. In the first stages, while I am doing my 'due diligence', the first whiff of adversity and I am out. On the other hand, once I've decided to do something, I tend to dismiss obstacles, and go full out, somewhat recklessly, trying to accomplish the thing through enthusiasm, if nothing else.
What I definitely am not, though, is an effort-for-its-own-sake kind of guy. I don't appreciate effort except in support of a defined goal. Idle hands may be the Devil's workshop, but as long as the Devil is doing the work, I believe that's his problem, not mine.
Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!
Food and Diet Section
Today's Weight: 203.6 lbs
Yesterday's Weight: 203.6 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain: - 0.0 lbs
 |
| Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011. |
Diet Comment:
I actually thought there would be more weight added today, given yesterday's silly cheating eating. After this morning's fail, I don't know how much recovery I'll make today.
Food Log
Breakfast
A cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia gel, an egg, cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend).
Snack
Home-made banana bread.
Lunch
Dinner
Pepperoni, steamed vegetables, cole slaw. Too hot to cook.
Liquid Intake
Coffee: 30 oz, Water:128+ ozA cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia gel, an egg, cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend).
Snack
Home-made banana bread.
Lunch
 |
| Roasted turkey breast, Spring Mix greens, red cabbage and balsamic vinaigrette. |
Dinner
Pepperoni, steamed vegetables, cole slaw. Too hot to cook.
Liquid Intake
Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!
posted by Reverend Ken at
7:36 AM
8 Comments:
That is really funny. I am in totally on board with that. I think you do get the occassional enthusiasm and strive. I feel like I am always just trying to keep up. Love you
Ken, I love you and I love your constantly curious and inquiring mind. Joan, if you read this, you should know that I love you totally, as well. I love my family and if there’s any entity to thank - “Thank you for arranging for me to be born into this particular family. Thank you for our crazy parents who launched us into this world without a reliable model of how to be a human, but with the abilities and tools to make sense of it for ourselves.” I’m now going to devote as much time as necessary to consider the nature of of desire and its function, and how to put my thoughts into words, type them and send them to your blog.
I re-read your blog entry.It seems to me that you''ve discovered the way of the Lazy Man.
Joan,
Yes,,when I get enthusiastic about something, the first casualty is impulse control, and my ADHD or whatever it is provides the hyperfocus to energize me. Thankfully, that happens just often enough to keep me interesting... and broke.
Love you, too.
Andy,
I love you, too - I almost said, of course, but I don't mind you NOT taking it for granted.
I love the way your mind works, and your deep understanding of Buddhist/Hindu views of the workings of humanity, and the illusion of duality.
You put your words together very well, as far as I can tell, and I couldn't be happier that you have gotten the spirit of the blog, and engaged with it - with me. Thank you.
J & K - I hope that you understand that I am not a bhudhist or a hindu, nor disciple of anyone .i accept concepts and ideas only when they resonate withth alt which I intuitively know to be true, and synthesize it into my explanation. I believe i have been doing this all my life, from the moment I first thought of myself as I, with everything I've seen, touched, heard, smelled,, read, manipulated, etc; etc..Just as everyone does, in my own unique way..
“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime,you’ll find, you get what you need.”
I have two kinds of desires- that which I want and need, and that which I only want. When my desires are in line with my needs, it seems that the required energy is there to pursue their fulfilment. When I just want, without the added force of necessity, then it seems the only energy available (that of the wish itself) will be insufficient to overcome the natural resistance to setting things in motion. For me to get off my ass and pursue a desire, I need the outside energy generated by really needing it. Otherwise everything is a tradeoff, I will have to draw additional charge from my inner battery. Depleting the reservoir of energy needed for the rest of my psychic life that is not desire. At those times, I like the two of you, do nothing.. I'll leave my theoretical discussion on the nature and function of desire for some other time, probably when i have something intelligible completed. - a
re: that happens just often enough to keep me interesting... and broke
I think I am a boring person, though usually not bored. I don’t have friends, am not affiliated with any religious, social, political, scientific, philosophical, athletic (etc.) groups or organizations. My participation in consumerism is pretty much (bordering on strictly) based on necessity. Until recently I avoided communicating in any way other than face to face, or by telephone, because putting my thoughts out there to be read is always an open invitation for my ego to jump in, claim ownership, and bask in the anticipated elevation of status that would be attributed to it by the admiring readers. I avoid situations that exist only in the realm of my egoistic mind, which, I believe to be a result of conditioning and social education.. It is easily awakened, and drags me in to an illusory world of duality, creating tension, conflict. karma. This acquired ego is blind to reality and ignorant of any purposes outside of its subjective desires. I have no goals and no ambition to achieve jn this life other than to essentially live it and not do harm to any aspect of it. Not very exciting or interesting to anyone else, but I’m not here for anyone’s entertainment. -andy
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