July 10 2012: Post 546 (2012 Day 192)

July 10, 2012

Daily Comment

One of the things that motivates most people is fear. I have known people for whom that seems to be the only motivating thing, and I know at least one person who believes that it is the only motivator.

I think that's wrong, although I also think that if you have a certain mindset, every motivator can be expressed as a fear. For instance, love as a motivator, could be re-framed as fear of rejection, loss or loneliness.

I think all fear comes from the illusion of duality and separateness, but that doesn't mean I am fearless. I make no claim to have transcended all my illusions. I'm just a guy doing the best he can.

Usually.

A very close friendship hit the rocks over this issue. My friend was one of those whose primary motivator was fear. He was also one of those people who appeared fearless, until you realized that much of his bravado (can I call it that?) was based on coping with, if not intentionally concealing, fear. Primarily, he feared loss. Loss of love, health, respect, money, power.

Having experienced all of these types of losses, I am the first person to say that any of them can have a large, negative impact on any sense of well-being that a person is able to enjoy; I have been thrown into despair and depression a few times when I experienced simultaneous losses in more than one, and, it was, at the least, unpleasant, and in the short term, seemed like a crisis that frightened the people who loved me.

I learned something from those experiences - or, more accurately, from surviving those losses. One of the first was that they weren't anything to fear. The frequently-wrong homily, "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (sometimes it makes you weaker, more often it has no effect on your overall vitality) seems to apply specifically to these challenges that can be overcome, or, at least, out-lasted.

Anyway, my friend began to broadcast his fear in the form of defensive (as in the best defense is a strong offense) emails. I didn't want to end the relationship, but when I asked to be left out of these negative posts, he was offended and wrote off our friendship. That was painful. I didn't, and still don't, feel anything but friendship and love for him - but I haven't had any response to attempts to heal things between us.

Early in Frank Herbert's Dune, we hear the phrase, "Fear is the mind-killer." I believe this is true. FDR had it right, too (you know, "The only thing we have to fear..."). You must acknowledge fear, but not allow it to incapacitate you..

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        203.6 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    204.8  lbs  
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 1.2 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011.

Diet Comment:

I' lost a little, despite my 'fail' of eating cheat food for a late-night snack. By themselves, late-night snacks usually generate weight gain, so I thought eating nuts and dried fruit (concentrated sugar) with chocolate would cause a problem... but no. Lucky me.

Food Log

Breakfast
A cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (24g protein), kale, cocoa, chia gel, vanilla, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend).

Lunch

Salmon, Spring Mix greens, red cabbage and balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner

Italian-style chicken sausage and cauliflower with Rajma Masala (red bean curry)..

Snack

Hard-boiled eggs with salsa and guacamole.

Liquid Intake

    Coffee:    22 oz,   Water: 112+ oz

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