August 27, 2012: Post 594 (2012 Day 240)

August 27, 2012

Daily Comment

My desire to play bass in an ensemble is at odds with my health. I am talking about my being constantly sleep-deprived.

Any night, Sunday through Thursday, that I go out to play is a night I will not get enough sleep. Since I typically go out to play at least three, sometimes four of those nights, I am chronically sleep-deprived.

I have gotten used to it, but that doesn't mean it is working for me. It is not. Even now, as I write this, I am feeling almost sick with tiredness.

Getting more sleep may well be the biggest change in my life when I retire. It will be an improvement - not having to wake up at a given time, being able to sleep until my body tells me it is time to wake up - but I wonder how difficult the adjustment might be.

Right now, whether my schedule permits more, or not, most nights I get only four to five hours of sleep. Weirdly, I fight to stay awake when I should be going to bed. And this is nothing new. It has been going on since the mid-1990s, when I got back into playing regularly, and sought out every possible opportunity to play.

Sometimes, I got so overtired, I would fall asleep in the middle of activities like eating, talking, and having sex (I am lousy in bed, but that was... noted withoutany sympathy). Today, I am falling asleep typing. This.

My priorities are clearly, totally, screwed up, and nowm what was once a choice (albeit one that was made without accounting for consequences) has become a (bad) habit. My sleep hygiene is poor.

And, since our habits are what make us who we are, it is no wonder that certain things, like my health and a social life outside of the music scene, have gone by the wayside, as I happily make my music. All kinds of bad things come from being overtired.

Time will tell when I begin to correct this. Writing this means it has my attention, and, in my experience, that's the first step. I think it is also somewhat self-limiting, because once my schedule becomes free by not having to work (less than three-and-a-half years from now), there will be no alarms in the morning; at least initially, overseas, no playing until late at night/early next morning. We'll see. I may have to make some changes between now and then, as cataloging the negative effects of sleep deprivation is too tiring (LOL).

I think I am not alone in having my desires trump my needs, and I'm confounded as to how things get so out of whack. I hear stories all the time about poor and hungry people with big-screen TVs, and wealthy people with terrible self-destructive addictions.

What in our nature allows this? I would say 100% of the time it is mistaking wants for needs, but that is over-simplified. I can tell you from experience that I have no peace, and no good perspective, when I'm not playing, and that the more I play, the more joy I have, the more calm. How are these things not needs?

There is an answer, but it is difficult. I could solve my problem by changing jobs, or quitting work entirely, but that would introduce other problems, such as how to pay for the true necessities of life. No, the answer is probably playing less often, finding out how little I can play without feeling deprived, and losing my sense of joy of life, and then, making certain that I maximize the amount of sleep the rest of the time, but...

From what I know about these things, you cannot make up for lost sleep by sleeping more later (although you can refresh yourself and avoid some of the more odious complications from sleep deprivation); and good sleep hygiene demands consistently going to bed and waking up at the same time every day.

So, the grand experiment continues.

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        206.2 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    205.2 lbs  
Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 1.0 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011.

Diet Comment:

I would like to answer the following questions about my diet and weight: Does fasting help with weight control? Does lack of sleep/not sleeping well cause you to gain weight?

The answer to the first question:  Not in any predictable way. Last week, I lost more than 5 pounds in a single day fasting. Yesterday's fast resulted in a one-pound gain.

The answer to the second question: Yes.

Food Log

Breakfast

A cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia gel, a whole organic egg, cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, stevia-erythritol blend).

Lunch

Skipped, mostly. Ate some oatmeal cookies at work, though. Not good.

Snack
Chorizo sausage, baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner
The snack was so filling, I skipped dinner.

Snack
Chorizo sausage, baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:    30 oz,   Water: 64+ oz

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