Reverend Ken's Blog: September 4, 2012: Post 599 (2012 Day 248)

September 4, 2012

Daily Comment

Friendship means different things to different people, and means different things to a person at different times in their lives.

Childhood friendships have a lot to do with shared fun and companionship. Through shared experiences, trust develops. Expanding trust fosters intimacy - you do things with your childhood friends that are unique - you don't do them with anyone else - and they know things about you that nobody else does; so many things you do with your childhood friends are first-time experiences, for you and them.

There's also a tribal aspect of childhood friendship - mutual protection, rites of passage, socialization. This is to a large degree, where cultural influences and ideas about interpersonal relationshipsstart to extend beyond your parents' ideas about those things.

I had a number of best friends, and a larger number of friends to hang out with when I was young, but it wasn't until I was in high school that I felt like I was part of a group. This was the first group not based on proximity, on being in the same class or grade, living in the same neighborhood. I am not in touch with those high school friends, with no exceptions. After high school, we drifted away, drifted apart, and for the most part, lost touch. The only one who didn't has died. I returned to the comfort of my neighborhood friends once I started (then stopped) college.

I am very fortunate to number many of my childhood friends as current adult friends. Some of them were peripheral, friends or siblings of my friends, but my childhood group hung out together a lot, in a large extended group. More than a few married within the group (there's that tribal thing).

This past weekend, on the occasion of the wedding of the daughter of old friends, I was reunited with one of my very best friends, that I have been out of touch with for a decade. This is Marco, a friend I have shared many adventures with, traveled with, lived with, done deals with, laughed and cried with.

At this point, I have more friends than any other person I know. As I mentioned before, I have, for the most part, been able to stay on good terms with most of my old friends, and everyone from my early scenes (those who haven't checked out).

But there are some friendships that defy time and geography, and my friendship with Marco is one of those. We immediately agreed to stay better in touch, invited each other to check out our current scenes. Here's Marco and his wife Sophie:

The wedding was also wonderful, a good time was had by all, at least until the modern synth-disco music played by the DJ began to feel oppressive, and made it time to leave. Here are some pics:

Next Saturday, a group of my friends from elementary school days are going to get together. This particular group includes the friend I've known longer than any other non-family person - we met when we were around 3 years old! Thanks to being a baby boomer and growing up in New York there were lots of kids around to be friends with, back in the old days (the '50s).

This group of friends, as we hit our mid-to-late teens, had 'hangouts' - specifically, outside a corner candy store, and later, when we were in our late teens, in a little hilly area (just called "the Bay") by the Throgs Neck Bridge and the Cross Island Parkway, where, in the winter, we used to go sledding. The scene at the Bay got very popular, to the point where it started attracting outsiders. One summer, it became a full-blown 'scene' - somehow, everybody knew about it, knew about the party going on, and then, quickly, the scene got ugly. Just as quickly, police came on a regular basis to harass and clear the scene. The scene died, after a couple of glorious Summers.

That left Jerry's Candy Store. Some of my friends (including the aforementioned first friend) worked there at one time or another. It was a clearinghouse, the place you checked in to let people know you were around, to hang out, or to find someone to hang out with.

As people got older, and Jerry's was less attractive a place to hang out, the group started an informal weekly softball game - first at a school yard, then at local parks' ball fields. They became events, real parties, with a lot of participation. People looked forward to, and made time for, the Sunday games, even as they were starting families and careers. Those weekly Summer games continued into the 80s, for more than 20 years, as we got into our 30s.

A few years after Paula (one of the 'founding members' of the group) died, her husband Jimmy (another founding member) and some other friends in the group, organized a Memorial gathering and softball game, like the 'old days.' Paula had not just been a founder, she was a mainstay of the scene, someone who always found a way to keep people in touch with each other. A softball game and picnic was a suitable memorial.

It took place a week after Labor Day, and became an annual event. It has, at times, gotten very large, with over a hundred people showing up, on other occasions, the turnout has been small. But even when the turnout isn't that big, it keeps on happening. We're now somewhere past the 25th of these reunions. A few years ago, the scene moved to the Bay, now an actual city park; the next one comes up this Saturday, so for the second week in a row, I'm heading towards the City this weekend.

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight: 207.6 lbs
Yesterday's Weight: 208.5 lbs (estimated)
Day Net Loss/Gain: - 0.9 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011.

Diet Comment

I had three days and four nights of cheating, without weighing. After fasting for about twenty-one hours yesterday, I broke the fast with a cheat, buying my food (cashew nuts, almonds, and a surprisingly adequate slice of pizza) at a gas station during a pit stop on my way home from my New York City vacation.

While on vacation (which began Friday night, coincident with the last food - a cheat - I documented) I ate wonderfully from a gustatory point of view, but way off-plan - 3 days worth. I estimated the weight gain, and did work in a fast yesterday, before cheating again. Finally, last night, I ate back on plan again: hard-boiled eggs and guacamole, turkey and a salad, and beans, spinach and eggs. Today we re-start, in preparation for the coming Saturday's cheat.

Food Log

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia seeds, egg white, cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, stevia-erithrytol blend).

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner