December 30, 2012

December 30, 2012 (Sunday)
(Post 694, Day 365 of 2012, 730 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

I've been thinking a lot, lately, about time. Specifically, how the passage of time has affected me, and, more often, the nature of time.

First, the thing that makes me happiest right now, and by that I mean the thing that most easily puts me in the now moment, is playing music. But my development as a musician seems to have stopped. I'm playing now, stylistically and technically, much the same way I played 35 years ago. I think I am playing better, but only because, over time, it has become almost effortless.

I reject more modern styles and techniques, because that is not how I hear bass. But I no longer try to keep up with modern styles, or the current popular music.

I've lost interest in progressing. I like to tell people, I'm no longer a competitive bassist; by which I don't mean that I don't have the talent and skill to compete, rather, I mean I don't have any drive to compete - I play bass for the joy I get in making music, not to 'get the gig' or to get laid or for fame or fortune, or to impress other musicians. And since I've gotten clear on that, I've traded the ego-stroking of proving myself to others for a bit of self-generated (well, in the context of an ensemble of other musicians) bit of joy, the ability to enjoy the moment when I play, with no thoughts of future or past pulling me out of it.That's not a fair trade, it's a bargain for me.

This past year (and the last one, too), I found myself, in playing and meditation, 'spending time' in situations where the past and the future were not influential.

And it gives me the perspective that I don't have to increase, don't have to do better, and don't have to  be concerned about it. And that sets off a chain reaction of thoughts.

On time. Because it has allowed me to get a real, in-my-heart certain view of time (and space) as the mind-created illusions they are. Can I see past time and space? No, because seeing is sensual and too limited, by definition. Living in the material world, the world of the senses, I work with what I perceive.

When I play, and, to a lesser extent, when I meditate, I get it, the simultaneity of all things. That is, I momentarily step out of it, in that my perceiving of the illusion ceases.

I take some comfort from knowing that the illusion can be seen for what it is, and that I can have joy and peace in those moments where the illusion and its hold on me is neutralized. 

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        204.0 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    202.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Today's fast, short as it was, will hopefully undo yesterday's excess. Unfortunately, eating some dates (sugar) and a very small amount of breadcrumbs at dinner may have a negative effect.

So it goes.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
At Legal C-Bar, in Dedham, Mass:

I had a share of blackened sashimi tuna and salmon tartare appetizers.

Seafood casserole (scallops, shrimp, lobster, in a white wine sauce with cheese and a light breadcrumb topping) and garlic spinach. Not shown: An excellent house salad.

Snack
Bacon-wrapped dates with almonds (Joan-made).

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   32 oz,  Water:  88+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's.

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