October 30, 2012

October 30, 2012 (Tuesday)
(Post 644, Day 304 of 2012, 669 days since 1st post)

Daily Comment

In that I make plans, I am a planner. 

Sometimes I execute those plans, sometimes not. I am not attached to my goals so much as attracted to/by them. So I plan stuff.

I spreadsheet stuff. All the time. I have no idea why I like it so much, but I make a spreadsheet the way some people use a calculator, calling up Excel whenever I have to do more math than I  can do in my head.

I also like to make lists. Because I am a planner.

But I am not naive. I have a very tenuous attachment to seeing the results I am planning for. My expectation level is a bit below the "if it turns out anything like this at all I will be pleasantly surprised" level.

My signature used to (including when I was a Project Manager) contain a quote from "Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr:  "Nothing succeeds as planned." Ain't it the truth?

I also like the adage (biblical?) that man plans while God laughs. Or John Lennon's, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

But for me, to a large degree, planning is an end in itself, an enjoyable interlude with solid entertainment value, that at least some of the time points you in the general direction of what you are becoming. Even if you are becoming what you already are.

Or have I lost both you and myself with that?

PS: In the aftermath, I now think the best thing I could have done was to buy the car that I mentioned yesterday. The one I hit.

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        202.6 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    205.4 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 2.8 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Diet Comment

I am disappointed in my late-evening, post-concert (Blind Boys of Alabama and Dr. John) feeding frenzy. Way off plan, and I know my weight will be up tomorrow.

Food Log

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia seeds, a large egg, cocoa, cinnamon, stevia-erithrytol blend).

Lunch
At Ling-Ling Chinese Buffet:

From the "Mongolian Grill", chicken, pork, bean sprouts, cabbage, onions, peppers, broccoli, mushrooms in garlic and hot pepper sauce. And kim-chee.

Snack
Hard-boiled Eggs with cole slaw.

Dinner

Organic burger on spaghetti squaxh with pomodoro sauce. Not shown: Cole slaw.

Snack
Roasted turkey and guacomole. Greek yogurt with blueberries and stevia-erythritol blend. Exekiel Golden Flax sprouted grains cereal with almond milk and stevia-erythritol blend.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:  20 oz,  Water: 96+ oz. 

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October 29, 2012

October 29, 2012 (Monday)
(Post 643, Day 303 of 2012, 668 days since 1st post)

Daily Comment

I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions today. A lot has happened, and very little of it seems positive.

First, the deal I had for my new car unwound - the dealer was not willing to stand by the deal past the end of the week, when we had agreed to get the paperwork done tonight, but do the actual deal when I got back from LA.

A conversation with my brother Andy started me thinking about a whole 'nother thing, what my attitude is about diet and eating, and how my approach takes me far out of the 'now' of things.

Shortly after that, a Kia dealer called me to say that I had backed into a car when I visited their lot last Friday, and I needed to come in to make things right. The dealer said there was an eyewitness and a videotape! I didn't know what he was talking about. Was this some weird retaliation because I left the dealership angry over the bad service I was given, and then complained? Am I having hallucinations while driving?

Yes. I did it. I had to look hard to find the scratch I made on the wheel well, but there it was, and there was the videotape showing that I'd hit the car. It must have been a very light hit, because there was no dent. How did I not know I'd done this?

Scary.

A lot to mull over.

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Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        205.4 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    204.0 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 1.4 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Diet Comment

Waiting the full 24 hours of my fast, which I did yesterday, ended up with breaking fast at one in the morning, with the result that my weigh-in was too close to my last meal, accounting for the gain. Ate dinner very late tonight (almost midnight).

Food Log

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia gel, cocoa, cinnamon, stevia-erithrytol blend).

Lunch
Some Nutter Butter cookies.

Dinner

Organic turkey burgers with black beans, Spring Mix and home-made mayonnaise. Not shown: Baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:  20 oz,  Water: 96+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

October 28, 2012 - Fast Day

October 28, 2012 (Sunday)
(Post 642, Day 302 of 2012, 667 days since 1st post)

Daily Comment

666 days after starting this blog, and I am playing our Halloween gig. I am going as an outdoorsman. Not just a costume, a disguise.

I'm a little freaked out because I almost added LOL to the end of that last sentence. 

was Skyping with Andy (I really, really like Skype), and told him I was going to add some more thoughts to my comment yesterday, but by the time I started to do that, I'd forgotten what they were.

Joan commented that she thinks expectations may come from chronic disappointment. This strikes me as chicken-egg confusion. If I understand what she means by "chronic disappointment" then it is the result of expectations continually un-met. This, in turn, creates a new expectation: that the future will continue to disappoint as it has in the past. Isn't that a self-fulfilling prophecy?

After discussions with Andy and friend Al, at lunch yesterday, I'm more convinced than ever that the Kia Soul is the car for me. I am also resigned to waiting for one in one of the three colors I find acceptable - because, to be honest, I flat-out dislike the other colors the Souls come in. The only question is really which trim level to get. Each successive trim level offers more value. I've eliminated the top one, and like the middle-level, called the Soul+. But, really, the base model may be right for me, with the lowest cost of ownership over the three-plus years I will have it. I have initiated a new search for a base model with automatic transmission.

I have begun cutting back on coffee consumption to see if it helps with my sleep "problem." I am doing things that contribute to or maybe  cause my chronically poor sleeping pattern/lack of pattern. It may be that it is not a sleep problem, but a lifestyle issue.

I saw a used 2012 Silver Kia Soul+ at a dealership today, but didn't like the way I was treated there, so went out and bought a new 2013 Titanium Soul+ from a competitor. I'll pick it up when I get back from LA. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        204.0 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    200.4 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 3.6 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Diet Comment

A lower high is a good thing. Today's fast should, I hope, seal the deal and start me towards my goal of 200 lbs on Friday, the last day I will be weighing in until I get back from LA.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
Skipped.

Snack/Break-fast

Roasted turkey breast, a hard-boiled egg, guacamole, baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:  20 oz,  Water: 72+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

October 27, 2012 - Cheat Day

October 27, 2012 (Saturday)
(Post 641, Day 301 of 2012, 666 days since 1st post)

Daily Comment

666 days after starting this blog, and I am playing our Halloween gig. I am going as an outdoorsman. Not just a costume, a disguise.

I'm a little freaked out because I almost added LOL to the end of that last sentence. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        200.4 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    201.2 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 0.8 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Diet Comment

OK, my 24-hour fast went well, I had a big dinner and still dropped a little weight. Normal variation. Skipped breakfast today in favor of my weekly lunch at Ling-Ling's with my pal Al.

Food Log

Summary

• At Mama Nancy's:

  

  Half-size Big Anthony fritatta ("New" Hot Italian Sausage style): Eggs, potatoes, broccoli, onions, peppers, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, swiss cheese. Rye toast (dry),and  hot sauce. Not shown: Grapefruit juice

• Ezekiel Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with blueberries, almond milk and stevia-erythritol blend.
• A brownie, an oatmeal cookie, and a piece of apple crisp from the Amish bake stand at the Regional Market. 
• Whole wheat pasta with Pomodoro sauce.
• Brownies and ice cream.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:  14 oz,  Water: 56+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

October 26, 2012

October 26, 2012 (Friday)
(Post 640, Day 300 of 2012, 665 days since 1st post)

Daily Comment

Some random thoughts today:

I was Skyping with Andy (I really, really like Skype), and told him I was going to add some more thoughts to my comment yesterday, but by the time I started to do that, I'd forgotten what they were.

Joan commented that she thinks expectations may come from chronic disappointment. This strikes me as chicken-egg confusion. If I understand what she means by "chronic disappointment" then it is the result of expectations continually un-met. This, in turn, creates a new expectation: that the future will continue to disappoint as it has in the past. Isn't that a self-fulfilling prophecy?

After discussions with Andy and friend Al, at lunch yesterday, I'm more convinced than ever that the Kia Soul is the car for me. I am also resigned to waiting for one in one of the three colors I find acceptable - because, to be honest, I flat-out dislike the other colors the Souls come in. The only question is really which trim level to get. Each successive trim level offers more value. I've eliminated the top one, and like the middle-level, called the Soul+. But, really, the base model may be right for me, with the lowest cost of ownership over the three-plus years I will have it. I have initiated a new search for a base model with automatic transmission.

I have begun cutting back on coffee consumption to see if it helps with my sleep "problem." I am doing things that contribute to or maybe  cause my chronically poor sleeping pattern/lack of pattern. It may be that it is not a sleep problem, but a lifestyle issue.

I saw a used 2012 Silver Kia Soul+ at a dealership today, but didn't like the way I was treated there, so went out and bought a new 2013 Titanium Soul+ from a competitor. I'll pick it up when I get back from LA. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        201.2 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    201.6 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 0.4 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Diet Comment

OK, my 24-hour fast went well, I had a big dinner and still dropped a little weight. Normal variation. Skipped breakfast today in favor of my weekly lunch at Ling-Ling's with my pal Al.

Food Log

Breakfast
Cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia gel, a large egg, cocoa, cinnamon, stevia-erithrytol blend).

Lunch

Roasted turkey breast, black beans, cole slaw cabbage/carrot blend, Spring Mix, balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner

Hard-boiled eggs, guacamole, sauteed asparagus.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:  24 oz,  Water: 102+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

October 25, 2012

October 25, 2012 (Thursday)
(Post 639, Day 299 of 2012, 664 days since 1st post)

Daily Comment

Whenever I get disappointed, and I do get disappointed from time to time, I have to remind myself why - which means I have to get past the specifics, especially the details, and get to the fundamental nature of my feeling.

Disappointment is an easy one. You are disappointed if you have unmet expectations. This could be because the expectations are unrealistic, or are formed from bad information. Well, it could be that, but I don't think so.

I think the problem is having expectations in the first place. If you have them, the door to disappointment is wide open. But expectations are not a function of any living process - they are formed by looking at and trying to predict or manipulate the future. Since the whole concept of the future is part of the illusion of time and space, which may or may not exist, but is definitely different than what is perceptible.

Anyway, when we are present, and not thinking about the future (about which we KNOW nothing), we have no expectations, and cannot be disappointed. If something is occurring that we have had expectations, the degree of disappointment depends much more on how attached we are to things working out the way we wanted, than to how closely the event matches, falls short of, or exceeds those expectations.

All of this comment comes about from having heard a political analyst talking about a candidate "managing people's expectations". So, you know, if politicians are involved in the expectations game, it is, to put it mildly, suspect.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        201.6 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    203.0 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 1.4 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Diet Comment

OK, my 24-hour fast went well, I had a big dinner and still dropped a little weight. Normal variation. Skipped breakfast today in favor of my weekly lunch at Ling-Ling's with my pal Al.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling Chinese Buffet:

From the "Mongolian Grill", chicken, pork, bean sprouts, cabbage, onions, peppers, broccoli, mushrooms in garlic and hot pepper sauce. Kim-chee.

Dinner

Dal Fry (lentil curry) with eggs, spinach. Not Shown: Chia gel, Spring Mix with balsamic vinaigrette.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:  0 oz,  Water: 106+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

October 24, 2012 - Fast Day

October 24, 2012 (Wednesday)
(Post 638, Day 298 of 2012, 663 days since 1st post)

Daily Comment

I am going 'round and 'round on this car thing.

Somewhere, somebody who actually likes cars gets excited at the idea of getting a new one. That person is not me.

The car I've decided on, the Kia Soul+, is a popular car, selling well. That should be a good thing, but it contains within it two problems: As a result of those good sales, the car is not available (no stock in the Northeast) in either of the two colors I like. It also makes the dealerships reluctant to discount and gives them an advantage in negotiations.

I am slogging through the buying process. I know something about this, having briefly sold cars at a dealership, a job I quit because I disliked it and everybody I was working for and with. It is unpleasant by design, and the customer is typically viewed as a sucker by the managers who ultimately make the deal.

To summarize, I am not getting good prices on a car with limited availability and none at all in the colors I want. I know how I am being viewed by the dealers I am talking with. It tires me out and feels unpleasant.

I have agreed to fill in as bass on gigs with a band of amateurs, and we had a rehearsal. Oh, boy. We will have problems. They are also bringing in a (very good) guitarist, so that's a plus. And, they want to rehearse - not for me, I can play the songs they want to do, but for them - they can't. They want me to be part of their band, and I don't want any part of the non-musical band stuff - I want to know where to show up and when.

The drummer is weak, the current (departing) guitarist is a-rhythmic, and the singers aren't familiar with some of their tunes.

This may not work out, I think, mentally shrugging.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

Food and Diet Section

Today's Weight:        203.0 lbs 
Yesterday's Weight:    202.4 lbs
Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 0.6 lbs

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Diet Comment

This is the second day of gain where I thought I should have lost weight. We'll see if today's fast - I switched days because of eating lunch out tomorrow - has a positive effect.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner

Chili (Ground beef, red kidney beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, spices) on spaghetti squash. Not shown: Celery with home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake
    Coffee:  30 oz,  Water: 96+ oz. 

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!