December 30, 2012

December 30, 2012 (Sunday)
(Post 694, Day 365 of 2012, 730 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

I've been thinking a lot, lately, about time. Specifically, how the passage of time has affected me, and, more often, the nature of time.

First, the thing that makes me happiest right now, and by that I mean the thing that most easily puts me in the now moment, is playing music. But my development as a musician seems to have stopped. I'm playing now, stylistically and technically, much the same way I played 35 years ago. I think I am playing better, but only because, over time, it has become almost effortless.

I reject more modern styles and techniques, because that is not how I hear bass. But I no longer try to keep up with modern styles, or the current popular music.

I've lost interest in progressing. I like to tell people, I'm no longer a competitive bassist; by which I don't mean that I don't have the talent and skill to compete, rather, I mean I don't have any drive to compete - I play bass for the joy I get in making music, not to 'get the gig' or to get laid or for fame or fortune, or to impress other musicians. And since I've gotten clear on that, I've traded the ego-stroking of proving myself to others for a bit of self-generated (well, in the context of an ensemble of other musicians) bit of joy, the ability to enjoy the moment when I play, with no thoughts of future or past pulling me out of it.That's not a fair trade, it's a bargain for me.

This past year (and the last one, too), I found myself, in playing and meditation, 'spending time' in situations where the past and the future were not influential.

And it gives me the perspective that I don't have to increase, don't have to do better, and don't have to  be concerned about it. And that sets off a chain reaction of thoughts.

On time. Because it has allowed me to get a real, in-my-heart certain view of time (and space) as the mind-created illusions they are. Can I see past time and space? No, because seeing is sensual and too limited, by definition. Living in the material world, the world of the senses, I work with what I perceive.

When I play, and, to a lesser extent, when I meditate, I get it, the simultaneity of all things. That is, I momentarily step out of it, in that my perceiving of the illusion ceases.

I take some comfort from knowing that the illusion can be seen for what it is, and that I can have joy and peace in those moments where the illusion and its hold on me is neutralized. 

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        204.0 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    202.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Today's fast, short as it was, will hopefully undo yesterday's excess. Unfortunately, eating some dates (sugar) and a very small amount of breadcrumbs at dinner may have a negative effect.

So it goes.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner
At Legal C-Bar, in Dedham, Mass:

I had a share of blackened sashimi tuna and salmon tartare appetizers.

Seafood casserole (scallops, shrimp, lobster, in a white wine sauce with cheese and a light breadcrumb topping) and garlic spinach. Not shown: An excellent house salad.

Snack
Bacon-wrapped dates with almonds (Joan-made).

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   32 oz,  Water:  88+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's.

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December 29, 2012

December 29, 2012 (Saturday)
(Post 693, Day 364 of 2012, 729 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

After previous remarks about the weather, my day's plans were totaled by the snow.

Snow in Liverpool this morning. Snow in Sharon this afternoon. No traveling for me today.

Rats.

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        202.6 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    204.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 1.4 lbs

Diet Comment

More progress. I cancelled today's cheat day, instead having only one cheat snack after dinner. Unfortunately, a late (on-plan) snack after the cheat snack may have undone whatever virtues my 'sacrifice accomplished'.

Tomorrow, I'll do a fast until dinner - that will probably mean only eighteen hours - but I'm hoping it's enough to give me a respectable weigh-in at year's end.

Food Log

Brunch
Cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, chia gel, cocoa, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend).

Snack
Pepperoni.

Dinner
Spring Mix greens, red cabbage and pepperoni with balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Ezekiel Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with blueberries, almond milk and stevia-inulin blend.

Midnight Snack
Hard-boiled eggs with guacamole and home-made spicy mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   32 oz,  Water:  64+ oz. and a shot of Redbreast Irish Whiskey (mmmm! Yes, again!).

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December 28, 2012

December 28, 2012 (Friday)
(Post 692, Day 363 of 2012, 728 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

Busy at work. Took a nap at 7pm, so had dinner late. Too tired to go out. What a 'meh' start to the long weekend I'm looking forward to.

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        204.0 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    204.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 0.6 lbs

Diet Comment

I'm moving in the right direction. We'll see how far I get by New Year's Eve.

I have decided to maintain my diet over the long weekend, and, as best I'm able to, to forgo cheating tomorrow.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (24g protein), kale, a large, organic egg, cocoa, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend). Then, still hungry, I had a small salad with mostly turkey breast plus a little Spring Mix, baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner

Peppers and eggs on top of Dal Makhana (lentil-tomato curry) and peas.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   30 oz,  Water:  98+ oz. and a shot of Redbreast Irish Whiskey (mmmm!).

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December 27, 2012 - Fast Day

December 27, 2012 (Thursday)
(Post 691, Day 362 of 2012, 727 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

The snowfall, that started tonight, is heavy today.

I don't like snow, although there was a time, in my childhood, when I did. A lot.

Now, just an inconvenience I have to bear. No compensating positive qualities, as far as I'm concerned. I'm over building snowmen, or even wanting to. 

The only Winter sport I was ever attracted to was ice skating. I haven't been interested in that since I was 16. I liked walking in the snow once. Now it is... not pleasant. Or comfortable. I've gotten old.

Where the weather is concerned, I've become passive. It is something I note, and assess it only on how it affects my plans. Best case, it doesn't make a difference, worst case, it does and I have to get out of its way.

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        204.6 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    207.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 2.4 lbs

Diet Comment

Well, good on me, you know? I am finally under my slightly-high-anyway recent weight plateau.

Also, I am debating whether to let my diet go during this weekend's visit with my sister. Leaning toward not, or, at least, not completely.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Dinner

A turkey burger, a wild salmon burger, faux-tatoes (cauliflower with ghee, salt, pepper and herbs). Not shown: Spring Mix greens and red cabbage with balsamic vinaigrette and baby carrots with home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   40 oz,  Water:  98+ oz. and a shot of Jameson's.

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December 26, 2012

December 26, 2012 (Wednesday)
(Post 690, Day 361 of 2012, 726 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

As the year trundles to an end, I find myself, interestingly, not doing the typical end-of-year soul searching.

It has been a very satisfying year. It has also been one that saw me make advances in most areas of my life, without really trying to do so. That is my understanding of the way real improvements happen. At least sometimes.

Now, maybe this is all working out for me because I have paid my dues, and these are the benefits. But I have friends who have paid heavier dues than me, and this past year wasn't so kind and gratifying to them. As sad as that is - my heart goes out to them - there is little I can do except offer my compassion and empathy.

But for me, I am just very grateful for my life. 

On my vacation to North Carolina a couple of weeks ago, one old friend, when he first saw me, couldn't help but blurt, "Gee, you got old!" I laughingly replied, "Yeah, who expected that? Not me!". 

It's true - I never expected, as little as a decade-or-so ago, to reach sixty. In my teens and twenties, I never expected to see thirty, or forty... And so on.

Every new day is a gift. I have reached the age where that gift isn't given to all my friends.

So, every day I'm grateful that this time around the Wheel, I've managed to find some joy. Grateful every day.

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        207.0 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    205.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 2.0 lbs

Diet Comment

In the "This was unexpected" category, we have a weight gain. From yesterday's carb-heavy breakfast-for-lunch? That would be my guess.

Today, I had a nice lunch with Al (skipping breakfast, as usual on eating-lunch-out days) but once again succumbed to temptation afterwards with office goodies proffered.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
At Ling-Ling Chinese Buffet:

From the "Mongolian Grill", chicken, pork, bean sprouts, cabbage, onions, peppers, broccoli, mushrooms in garlic and hot pepper sauce. And kim-chee.

Snack
Brownies and cookies.

Dinner

Hard-boiled eggs with cabbage and black bean cole slaw, and baby carrots with home-made mayonnaise.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   32 oz,  Water:  72+ oz.

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December 25, 2012

December 25, 2012 (Tuesday)
(Post 689, Day 360 of 2012, 725 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

I don't have much to do with Christmas.

There have been times in my life when I did, but I don't have a feel for it. Of course, I have nothing to do at all with the religious part. That, to me, is a crock from beginning (not the right date) to the end (not God, or the Son of God).

However, I was reminded by my son Alex that there is no getting around it in this country. It is a day off from work, it is a day when, because most businesses are closed, there isn't much of anything to do.

And it is the one day a year that, if you don't own it, you can watch It's a Wonderful Life.

I did a wash, I did watch It's a Wonderful Life, and a bunch of other movies (action films - that's what I was in the mood for).

It snowed. I didn't go out at all.

So it goes.   

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        205.0 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    205.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Three days in a row at the same weight, each day somewhat different in eating pattern. That's unprecedented.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Chia gel and Ezekiel Golden Flax sprouted grain cereal with blueberries, almond milk and stevia-inulin blend.

Snack
Celery and home-made mayonnaise.

Dinner

The rest of the chili I had last night, eaten cold, sans broccoli.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   30 oz,  Water:  82+ oz.

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December 24, 2012

December 24, 2012 (Monday)
(Post 688, Day 359 of 2012, 724 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

I am alone at work today.

There is nobody else in the office. It was dark when I got in - spooky.

I got an email from my future second-line manager (and previous first-line manager) telling me to go home, but... On Friday, my first-line manager told me I had to work, so I planned accordingly, left the jam early. More importantly, I didn't make arrangements to go to Vermont, where I usually go over Christmas.

When she told me to work today, saying we needed a skeleton staff, I told my manager I was flattered - it meant my weight loss program had been a success.

Of course, there is nothing to do today. Nobody's working. Direct patient care customers are on skeleton staff, so fewer people to have (or cause) problems.

That suits me fine. I can do nothing with the best of 'em.   

  

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Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        205.0 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    205.0 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 0.0 lbs

Diet Comment

Unfortunately, my late-night eating, even though wholly within guidlelines, resulted in no weight loss. I was expecting different results.

Food Log

Breakfast

Kale and spinach with black beans, eggs and salsa.

Lunch

Roasted turkey on baby spinach with red cabbage and balsamic vinaigrette.

Snack
Pepperoni.

Dinner

Chili (Ground beef, kidney beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, spinach, spices) on broccoli.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   30 oz,  Water:  98+ oz.

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December 23, 2012 - Fast Day

December 23, 2012 (Sunday)
(Post 687, Day 358 of 2012, 723 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

I went to an event yesterday, called 'Shift Happens'. It was a kind of new-agey thing, celebrating the beginning of a new Mayan era (misunderstood as the apocalypse, based on the ending of the previous era as recorded by the Mayan calendar).

I find events of this kind unsatisfying. Not without entertainment value - they frequently involve musicians and children. Not without social value, because the people who attend are often good people, with a mindset more like mine than I encounter in other types of gatherings. There's often good food, too.

My motivation for going is usually supplied by a friend who is planning to attend and has recommended it to me, and my having no logistical conflicts (as was the case in this instance). 

Yet, as a person who goes expecting nothing, but hoping for some undefined, yet deep insight in some area that matters to me, I am usually disappointed. Many times these events include representatives of organizations - organized religions, ministries, outreach programs, spiritual groups, etc. - and that is a spoiler for me. 

I don't believe any truth worth knowing is for sale. Even if there is no money involved, just participation, or time, or commitment, I find it difficult to believe that my path is going to be assisted by man-made constructs. Humans are too limited for that, and banding together to work it out seems to end up having some ego-driven motive for at least some of the participates, and I'm not sure if the fruit from this tree has the nourishment I am seeking.

Now, this event was fun, and no organization was pushing too hard, but I screwed it up in two important ways. The first way was to not wear my hearing aids, and this put up a barrier to communication, and what else goes on at a social meeting?  This is the worst thing I could have done.

The second was arriving too late. I missed a lot, and, possibly, the best parts. The whole thing was a series of 'events' that began at nine in the morning, and ended at three in the afternoon. I arrived after at about one-fifteen. I could make excuses, but if it had been more important to me, I would have arrived earlier.

Here's the thing, though. These things make me think about the Big Questions. Not necessarily in profound ways, and not necessarily in ways that bring anything new to me. Rather, they help me clarify my thinking. Even if it is only cataloging the differences between my way and the ways I'm observing at the event. Or, how I would present my ideas, if called upon to do so (never happens, but fun to think about). 

For that, I'm grateful.

Afterwards, I went to my friend Al's house, where he was hosting a visit from his relatives, and which provided a very pleasant family dinner, conversation, the opportunity to play pool, and an overall sense of warmth.

For that, too, I am grateful.   

  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        205.0 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    207.6 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     - 2.6 lbs

Diet Comment

A nice reward for my good eating yesterday. Today, I did a good 24-hour fast.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch
Skipped.

Break-fast
Cocoa-kale protein shake (almond milk, whey protein (36g protein), kale, a large egg, chia gel, cocoa, cinnamon, stevia-inulin blend).

Snack

Salmon salad (just salmon and home-made mayonnaise) on Spring Mix with red cabbage.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   0 oz,  Water:  48+ oz.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

December 22, 2012

December 22, 2012 (Saturday)
(Post 686, Day 357 of 2012, 722 days since starting this blog)

Daily Comment

I went to an event yesterday, called 'Shift Happens'. It was a kind of new-agey thing, celebrating the beginning of a new Mayan era (misunderstood as the apocalypse, based on the ending of the previous era as recorded by the Mayan calendar).

I find events of this kind unsatisfying. Not without entertainment value - they frequently involve musicians and children. Not without social value, because the people who attend are often good people, with a mindset more like mine than I encounter in other types of gatherings. There's often good food, too.

My motivation for going is usually supplied by a friend who is planning to attend and has recommended it to me, and my having no logistical conflicts (as was the case in this instance). 

Yet, as a person who goes expecting nothing, but hoping for some undefined, yet deep insight in some area that matters to me, I am usually disappointed. Many times these events include representatives of organizations - organized religions, ministries, outreach programs, spiritual groups, etc. - and that is a spoiler for me. 

I don't believe any truth worth knowing is for sale. Even if there is no money involved, just participation, or time, or commitment, I find it difficult to believe that my path is going to be assisted by man-made constructs. Humans are too limited for that, and banding together to work it out seems to end up having some ego-driven motive for at least some of the participates, and I'm not sure if the fruit from this tree has the nourishment I am seeking.

Now, this event was fun, and no organization was pushing too hard, but I screwed it up in two important ways. The first way was to not wear my hearing aids, and this put up a barrier to communication, and what else goes on at a social meeting?  This is the worst thing I could have done.

The second was arriving too late. I missed a lot, and, possibly, the best parts. The whole thing was a series of 'events' that began at nine in the morning, and ended at three in the afternoon. I arrived after at about one-fifteen. I could make excuses, but if it had been more important to me, I would have arrived earlier.

Here's the thing, though. These things make me think about the Big Questions. Not necessarily in profound ways, and not necessarily in ways that bring anything new to me. Rather, they help me clarify my thinking. Even if it is only cataloging the differences between my way and the ways I'm observing at the event. Or, how I would present my ideas, if called upon to do so (never happens, but fun to think about). 

For that, I'm grateful.

Afterwards, I went to my friend Al's house, where he was hosting a visit from his relatives, and which provided a very pleasant family dinner, conversation, the opportunity to play pool, and an overall sense of warmth.

For that, too, I am grateful.   

  

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!

 

Year 2012 daily weight from December 31, 2011

Food and Diet Section

 Today's Weight:        207.6 lbs 

Yesterday's Weight:    207.4 lbs

Day Net Loss/Gain:     + 0.2 lbs

Diet Comment

Well, I didn't pay too high a price for yesterday's off-plan behavior, in honor of which I have cancelled today's weekly cheat day.

Food Log

Breakfast
Skipped.

Lunch

At the Shift Happens event, black bean soup, and lentil soup.

Dinner
At Al's: Turkey breast, mixed vegetables. A shot of Redbreast Irish Whiskey.

Snack
Baby carrots and home-made mayonnaise, red cabbage cole slaw, chia gel.

Liquid Intake   

   Coffee:   6 oz,  Water:  64+ oz. 2 oz of  Redbreast Irish Whiskey.

Please leave a comment if you visit my blog. Thank you!